You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
