I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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