ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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