I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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