Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
