the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
