My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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