It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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