When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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