I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
