So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
