this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
