you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
