Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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