that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
