Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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