lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize