If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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