We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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