found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
