i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
