just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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