So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Congratulations! We have a period
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
