so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
