Whod you bang
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He better not be in your backpack
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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