Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
