I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
