is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fuck appropriateness.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
