I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
