we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
