the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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