My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
