Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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