I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
