How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
