Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sext me about skeletons
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
