She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
