you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
