She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
