how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
