why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
