It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
