Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
