WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
