Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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