i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
