yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
