Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
