Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
