Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sober January is a disaster.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
