I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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