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Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
