You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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