I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize