why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
