Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
