Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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