I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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