I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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