I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
