Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize