dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
