she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
