Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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