Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
