You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
