The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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