this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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