ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
