Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
