It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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